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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27015970">a hug without a human is alright</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdphobe/pseuds/jdphobe'>jdphobe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Assassination Classroom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, i'm at the combination korosensei-karma meta, i'm at the karma meta!, i'm at the koro meta!, if you interpret this as a ship fic i'll literally kill you, just some character introspection and some thoughts abt trust and the will to live</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:35:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,270</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27015970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdphobe/pseuds/jdphobe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Korosensei's backstory comes out Karma hangs around the classroom to help out a bit and also maybe voice some doubts. A little more anger ends up involved than he initially expected.</p>
<p>(After all... can you truly trust an adult to care for you when they're just doing it on another person's command?)</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Korosensei and Karma meta fic.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akabane Karma &amp; Korosensei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a hug without a human is alright</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Karma’s not sure exactly why he stays behind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s 9 PM on a Thursday evening and he’s really supposed to be home right now. But it’s not like his parents will care much if he’s not, and besides… one of his classmates just went kamikaze, so it’s not exactly like it’s a normal situation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Kayano. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Now, what a shock that had come as. She’d always struck him as a relatively normal person... someone </span>
  <em>
    <span>trustworthy. </span>
  </em>
  <span>They’d never been particularly close- it’s not like they were friends or anything… they mostly just hung out because of Nagisa, but…-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>...Well, maybe her hanging out with Nagisa should have been his first hint that something was severely wrong.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not just the way she trailed behind him… parroting his hairstyle and his words as she pretended to be someone meek. It’s that he did the exact same thing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nagisa </span>
  </em>
  <span>was a liar, too... and liars know liars. Anyone willing to spend an inordinate amount of time around someone that unsettling… well, they’re just not right in the head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And not right in the head Kayano had been. Turns out that’s not only not her real name, but that she has a whole slew of tragic backstory attached to her. Her sister died in some horrific lab accident and she’s been secretly donning tentacles the entire year. Lying in wait… plotting revenge.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thought makes Karma shudder. He despises himself for it, but it does. He supposes it’s just the fact that he hadn’t picked up on it that bothers him more than anything. It’s not like he’d been scared of Itona. Back then he’d known exactly what he was going up against. But </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kayano?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Man, he can’t just help but think about all the times he’d been alone with her. If she’d really wanted to she could have snapped his spine in an instant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No-one else had seemed bothered by it... not like he had. They’d been sympathetic for her, more than anything. And he’s sympathetic, too,- don’t get him wrong, but…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s nothing he hates more than being lied to... not being able to discern a monster even when it’s right in front of him. He’s a powerful person- strong enough to face pretty much any difficulty that comes his way… but a threat he can’t even see? There’s no way he can prepare for something like that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s trying not to think about it… it’s not like Kayano had attacked him… and it’s not like she can anymore, now, but it still gives him the heebie-jeebies. And even if he tries his best to distract himself with photographs of Nagisa making out with her… monsters loving monsters or whatever, he just can’t find it in himself to laugh now. Not really. Even his usual deviousness can’t save him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His gaze drifts across the classroom and he lets out a sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...Maybe monsters are why he’s here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei’s tidying up the classroom. He could do it at his usual super speed, but he’s not. Maybe because Karma’s here or maybe because he’s feeling a little melancholy, too (Karma's not certain) but he’s taking his time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Briefly, Karma wonders if he’d offered to stay back and help clean up the classroom because he’d wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>reassurance </span>
  </em>
  <span>from his teacher. No matter how hard he tries to deny it he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared </span>
  </em>
  <span>of what happened… and Korosensei is an adult he trusts. Korosensei could console him more than anyone. But as he watches the octopus sweep the floor with that ever-present smile on his face, he can’t help but doubt that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Usually Korosensei would reach out and ask him if he was feeling okay after everything that happened. Of course- Karma would shrug and say he’s fine… but Korosensei doesn’t try that... not today. Instead, fiddling with the seam of his tie, he keeps his eyes fixed firmly towards the ground and gives a sad smile. Karma feels his expression twist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...Korosensei’s a liar, too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you for helping out,” he says, awkwardly, tucking books back inside a desk as he steps past it. “I feel bad for making you all have to see me this way, but I appreciate the assistance. I’d just been so worried about what happened to Kayano that I hadn’t had time to take care of things. The classroom ended up getting rather out of control.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eh,” Karma says, stretching as he crouches to pick a crumpled piece of paper off the floor. “It’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>bad. If anything your standards are just </span>
  <em>
    <span>way </span>
  </em>
  <span>too high. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>a bit of a clean freak, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei lets out a light chuckle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Guilty as charged,” he admits with that familiar ‘nyuhuhuhu.’ If Karma didn’t know any better, he’d almost be fooled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...He can’t believe he didn’t see it earlier. After all, Korosensei is the exact sort of person Karma doesn’t usually trust. He’s not only a conniving adult… he’s only got one expression on his face at all times. He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>made </span>
  </em>
  <span>for masking what he’s feeling. And although the colors that overtake his face may have given him plausible deniability at first… it’s more than clear Korosensei isn’t exactly as transparent as Karma had first assumed he was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...No, the octopus has secrets, too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>the real reason that Karma’s here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t care about being </span>
  <em>
    <span>comforted. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He doesn’t need </span>
  <em>
    <span>reassurance! </span>
  </em>
  <span>If he really needed </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>he could give it to himself perfectly easily. No… Karma’s here because he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>Karma’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>here because he wants to know the truth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei gave it to them in the most objective way already. Karma knows by now about the fact that he was an assassin and a human experiment… but he doesn’t care about any of </span>
  <b>
    <em>that. </em>
  </b>
  <span>Not really. What’s bugging him is Korosensei mentioned a specific person, and that…-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...Well, that just makes Karma wonder why he’s here at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He bites his lip so hard it comes close to bleeding, but he still doesn’t speak. Instead, knuckles pale, he simply dusts down the desk, and wonders, exactly, what sort of atmosphere this classroom is built on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei </span>
  <em>
    <span>must </span>
  </em>
  <span>notice there’s something wrong... he shoots a look Karma’s way. But if he opens his mouth to speak there’s no telling. It’s not like his </span>
  <em>
    <span>face </span>
  </em>
  <span>betrays what he’s thinking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Ahhhhh </em>
  </b>
  <span>what is Karma doing? It’s time he cut the crap. This isn’t for him and he’s not one to beat around the bush. It’s time to rip off the band-aid and get the truth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Karma-k-?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“...Soooo… Yukimura-sensei.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They seem to speak at once.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei pauses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A… ah,” he says, frozen, almost. “Yes? What about her?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well… I was just wondering,” Karma says. “About the relationship you two had. You said she sent you here, yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Yes,” Korosensei replies. “She was the teacher at this institution before I arrived. I’m not sure you got the chance to meet her… you </span>
  <em>
    <span>were </span>
  </em>
  <span>in suspension, but she was a truly wonderful soul.” He’s quiet for a long moment. “I could tell you more about her, if you’d like.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks, but no thanks,” he says. He knows enough about his previous teacher. He hadn’t gotten to know her well, but she’d stopped by once or twice with make-up work and an excuse to check up on him. She seemed fine enough… it’s not like he’s got anything against her… it’s just what her death seems to say about </span>
  <em>
    <span>Korosensei </span>
  </em>
  <span>that bothers him, really.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m actually more curious about </span>
  <em>
    <span>you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“About… me,” Korosensei repeats, blinking quietly. He’s hesitant for a moment, but soon regains his composure. Setting his broom to the side he takes a step towards Karma and nods. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it?” He asks. “If anything about my past is bothering you I’m certainly willing to discuss it. I know it may be frightening that I was at one point an assassin, but I can </span>
  <em>
    <span>promise </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’ve left that behind. I would never lay a hand on you or any of your friends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. I know </span>
  <em>
    <span>that, </span>
  </em>
  <span>too,” Karma says. “You promised after all, didn’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well… yes. I did make an agreement with the government.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You and I both know that’s not what I mean.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma gives a smirk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei, on the other hand, looks like he’d be frowning if he could.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>the expression Karma wants to see.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He cracks his knuckles. “Frankly, I don’t care that you’re an assassin. Everyone in this class is. We </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>the assassination classroom. It’s your teaching credibility I’m much more concerned about.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei takes another step closer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now what exactly do you mean by that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well… you always struck me as pretty good at your job. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Annoying, </span>
  </em>
  <span>sure… and </span>
  <em>
    <span>super </span>
  </em>
  <span>easy to rile up, but good. The passionate sort. But now? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Now </span>
  </em>
  <span>I realize you’re doing this for someone else... that it’s an </span>
  <em>
    <span>act </span>
  </em>
  <span>up there. And </span>
  <em>
    <span>hoo </span>
  </em>
  <span>boy does that make me mad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He steps forward before Korosensei can. Sauntering his way he sticks his head out and sneers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Karma,” Korosensei starts to say- but Karma’s not letting him get away with it. Not now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course the </span>
  <em>
    <span>rest </span>
  </em>
  <span>of the class hasn’t noticed it yet,” Karma continues. “...They’re too in shock. But I managed to make it out: the subtext behind your story. You’re not here because you want to be. You’re here because someone </span>
  <em>
    <span>told </span>
  </em>
  <span>you to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reaches out to poke Korosensei in the ribs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re here because you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>ordered. </span>
  </em>
  <span>All of that crap you spewed about believing in us was nothing more than a lie. ‘I see such great things in you?’ ‘You can do it if you just try?’ Don’t make me laugh! You don’t think </span>
  <em>
    <span>any </span>
  </em>
  <span>of that, do you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ka-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>can handle it. I’ve been </span>
  <em>
    <span>prepared </span>
  </em>
  <span>for this sort of thing all year. But the </span>
  <em>
    <span>rest </span>
  </em>
  <span>of the class? They’re going to take it </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard. </span>
  </em>
  <span>They look up to you, you know, teach.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Karm-”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re going to crash and burn when they learn that-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Karma will you please let me speak?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei raises a finger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you must have a lot on your mind right now… and it’s important for you to get your feelings out, but I would like to get my word in before you make any further assumptions: of course I believe in you, Karma. You and all of your classmates are near and dear to my heart. And while it is true that Yukimura-sensei is the one who sent me here, I have </span>
  <em>
    <span>greatly </span>
  </em>
  <span>enjoyed my year with the E-Class. I would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>make that up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Sure,” Karma says. “Because </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>what a serial murderer is built for. You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>completely </span>
  </em>
  <span>out of your element. I’m not sure if you needed a reminder: but this classroom is hell on earth. No-one comes here on their own violation, much less for </span>
  <em>
    <span>fun.</span>
  </em>
  <span> No-one else wants to spend time with the rest of the E-Class.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re the </span>
  <em>
    <span>dumb </span>
  </em>
  <span>kids... the </span>
  <em>
    <span>delinquents… </span>
  </em>
  <span>the bottom of the barrel. And even if our… ah…- </span>
  <em>
    <span>reputations’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> changed a lot over the year that’s certainly not how things were at the beginning. You can’t tell me you seriously looked at my classmates and </span>
  <em>
    <span>saw </span>
  </em>
  <span>something. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>remember </span>
  </em>
  <span>how you acted, Sensei. And it was like a </span>
  <em>
    <span>caricature.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hell: it was part of the reason I disliked you so much at first. I wanted to find an </span>
  <em>
    <span>enemy </span>
  </em>
  <span>in a teacher and instead I found</span>
  <em>
    <span> you… </span>
  </em>
  <span>always there with that ever-irritating grin. Cheering people like </span>
  <em>
    <span>Terasaka </span>
  </em>
  <span>on? Being patient with your students even when they interrupted class? It was like nothing I’d ever seen. Even when I pushed your buttons and bullied you you were never anything but kind to me. I didn’t understand it. And I </span>
  <em>
    <span>still </span>
  </em>
  <span>don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p><span>“In time I came to accept it as a part of you. Strange… but genuine. Something unlike what I’d seen in any other person. But now I know you </span><em><span>are </span></em><span>a person. And </span><em><span>that </span></em><span>makes me know you couldn’t have possibly meant any of that. </span><b><em>Humans don’t change that quick. </em></b><span>You didn’t</span> <span>go from killing people for fun to someone who could deal with shithead junior-high students near-perfectly in a week. You just copied someone who </span><em><span>could!”</span></em></p>
<p>
  <span>“And you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>still </span>
  </em>
  <span>doing it. Look at you, man. You were smiling even when you recalled your ‘tragic backstory.’ You want so hard to be a pillar of stability for us, but you don’t even know what that </span>
  <em>
    <span>means! </span>
  </em>
  <span>You don’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>care. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You’re just making it up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just </span>
  </em>
  <span>like you were making it up when you said you came here because you saw something in us... when you got us to </span>
  <em>
    <span>believe </span>
  </em>
  <span>that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But if you’re just here to ease your </span>
  <em>
    <span>guilty conscience, </span>
  </em>
  <span>then we’re not interested, Reap. We’re not as stupid as you think… and we’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>see right through that. In fact… I’d recommend getting out of here before it’s too late.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“After all… we’re not interested in a </span>
  <b>
    <em>lying </em>
  </b>
  <span>teacher. And even if we can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill-</span>
  </em>
  <span>kill you, the minute you’re dead as a teacher in our eyes is the minute you’re just as good as dead for real.”</span>
</p>
<p><span>Karma’s got a condescending sneer on his face but the truth is he’s so mad he could shake. After all, he let his guard down… let himself get his hopes up… </span><em><span>let himself think this was an adult that he could trust...</span></em><span> and it </span><b><em>wasn’t.</em></b> <span>Korosensei’s doing a job, just like Ono-sensei was. And even if using Karma to ‘set things right’ isn’t exactly using Karma to make himself look good… it’s using Karma all the same.</span></p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>He can’t believe he let himself go soft!</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>this was coming… he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>they were all the same… but he got his hopes up anyways and look where it got him! He’s not sure if he’s more mad at himself or the fraud that’s standing in front of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...Either way… he wants to dole out justice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma’s not a cruel person. Everyone seems to think he is but he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Everything he does is with a reason… and he only takes his anger out on people who he knows </span>
  <em>
    <span>deserve </span>
  </em>
  <span>it. He doesn’t go after the defenseless… the weak. He battles delinquents- narcissists and liars. He protects people who can’t protect themself! And facing down someone like this… clenching his fist so hard it shakes, well…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...He just thinks he deserves to use some harsh words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shoots Korosensei a glare… and Korosensei shies back. Looking genuinely distraught for a moment, he resembles the man he was at the start of the year… the man who fell prey to Karma’s pranks and took every insult personally. But as Karma gives a smirk - bares his teeth and leers… Korosensei stands up straight and does the exact same thing he did back then.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Ahhh…-” he says with a sigh. “I suppose I’ll have to go about this differently, won’t I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And in an instant he’s moving. He’s picked Karma up and whisked him away. Karma tries to fight it- but before he can even let out a yell they’ve arrived at their destination. Korosensei places Karma down carefully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma stumbles backwards, feeling the cool evening breeze on his face. He opens his mouth to speak- but Korosensei beats him to it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I figured the classroom wasn’t the best atmosphere for this sort of conversation. While it’s most certainly an ideal place for learning, you have poor memories associated with talking to your teachers in such an environment. Let’s aim not to recreate those. Instead, let us talk in the great outdoors. It’s a wonderful evening, anyways.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei smiles… and Karma’s lip twitches. Indeed, it seems Korosensei’s whisked him outside of the school. What a joke... like the atmosphere </span>
  <em>
    <span>matters. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The octopus is still just pretending to be something he’s not.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei must notice the sour expression on his face, because he cocks his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t use my super-speed on you any more throughout the rest of this conversation. While I’d love to pamper you, I understand the accusation you’re making against me is quite serious. And I intend to discuss this with you not as an authority figure, but as your teacher.” He hums. “There </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>a difference, after all. And I’d like you to see that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As always, his expression is indecipherable. But there’s not a particular element of sadness to his voice. Karma, absentmindedly, wonders why it’s so hard to break this person’s spirit. He’d seemed so distraught for a second- but he picks himself right back up. Do Karma’s harsh words mean so little?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He searches for more of them- but Korosensei speaks before he possibly could.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“First and foremost,” he remarks. “I’d like to say I’m proud of you for being able to tell me any of this. At the beginning of the year you’d have just taken it out on me without explaining why. And in fact… you </span>
  <em>
    <span>did. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But you’ve come a long way since then, whether you’d admit it or not. And I’m happy to see you talking about your feelings more openly now, even if they </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>come from a place of misunderstanding.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma opens his mouth to speak. He expects Korosensei to interject, but he doesn’t. Instead… staring at him quietly in the dim moonlight, he gives him time to compose his thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s… not about feelings, first of all,” Karma finally replies. “This has nothing to do with how I </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m just telling you what I see. That’s all.” He gives a huff. “...And I see you’re a fraud.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s hardly inquisitive, but it’s the best response he can come up with on such short notice. He turns away slightly, placing his hands in his pockets as he does.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well… perhaps </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>much is true,” Korosensei says. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>give you that. But I won’t let you remove yourself from this equation, either, Karma. There’s a reason you’re saying these things… and that’s because you’re worried, isn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve had time to observe you all year. I know you like I know all of your classmates. And this is what you do when you’re scared. After all, why </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>you be? You </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>believe I’m using your classmates.” He pauses. “...And you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>believe I’m using you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m n-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t deflect, Karma,” Korosensei interjects. “The last thing you or I need right now is you getting detached. I’m not interested in hearing above-it-all insults. If you’re angry, then please just be </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry </span>
  </em>
  <span>with me</span>
  <em>
    <span>. That’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>the feeling I want to see. And </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>the openness I want to praise you for.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma’s mouth falls open once more… and his face flushes red. Somehow he’s utterly humiliated. He hates that the octopus is able to make this a teaching moment even now. He’s not interested in having this made about him. He’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>interested </span>
  </em>
  <span>in receiving praise. He’s…-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m angry,” he says. “I’m angry you can even fuckin’ see that.” He lets out a growl. “And so what? Are you just going to pick me apart? It won’t make </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>a better person, for the record. And it won’t make you a good teacher, either.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei’s expression softens slightly. And slowly… he shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course not,” he says. “I’m sorry if it came across that way. I simply got excited about the progress you’d made: but you’re right… I’m going about this in the wrong order. I should be open with you, first and foremost. And as such, </span>
  <em>
    <span>if you really </span>
  </em>
  <span>want me to, I will tell you my true motives behind becoming a teacher, Karma.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is something I don’t exactly want to say… and I must admit I perhaps wouldn’t have the guts to tell this to the rest of your classmates. But knowing that you’ll both resent me if I don’t and are more than strong enough to handle this, I will tell you the truth. Yes, I became a teacher entirely of Yukimura-sensei's violation. No, this was never once my dream. And while I legitimately love you all, you’re right, Karma.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“...I hated this at first.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice is surprisingly icy… to the point where it’s downright </span>
  <em>
    <span>shocking. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Some part of Karma wants to feel vindicated - give a wry smile… but he’s simply too taken aback. He hadn’t expected Korosensei to just come out and say it like that. He’s supposed to fight back! He’s supposed to stand tall! What happened to keeping that spotless image?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m well aware hate is a strong word… and perhaps not the best modifier for what I’m describing now. But if you had asked me back then that’s most certainly what I would have called it. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘hated’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>being a teacher. And sometimes… </span>
  <em>
    <span>despite myself, </span>
  </em>
  <span>I even hated you guys.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei gives a small sigh. Shakes his head and chuckles sadly.</span>
</p>
<p><span>“This did not come easily to me, Karma. Because you’re right:</span> <span>I was not built for this. I was</span> <span>out of my element… simply doing what I’d been told to do to make it up to Aguri. And I’d never </span><em><span>done </span></em><span>anything like that before. I was just saying what I </span><em><span>thought </span></em><span>I was supposed to say. And even </span><em><span>then </span></em><span>sometimes I slipped up.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“You weren’t there at the time but once I </span>
  <em>
    <span>ripped the door plates off of your classmates' houses and told them I’d kill their families if they didn’t behave. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I was floundering about in the dark. And it was as frustrating as it could be!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You think </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>knew how to get to me? You have no idea. Sometimes during those early days, I just went home and </span>
  <em>
    <span>cried. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I didn’t know what I was doing... I didn’t know how to deal with you all. Sometimes I didn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>you. I hated the way you behaved… the way you talked about yourselves and how helpless it made me feel. Aguri made it sound so easy back then, but… it wasn’t. It just </span>
  <b>
    <em>wasn’t. </em>
  </b>
  <span>You were strangers, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>was in charge of your lives. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>was in charge of loving you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At times I felt insurmountably helpless. And as someone who was all-too-used to feeling in control… using that control to harm others, it scared me. But I just kept smiling… just kept fighting… just kept doing what I thought I was supposed to do. And do you know what happened in time, Karma?”</span>
</p>
<p><span>Karma looks quietly towards Korosensei… shuffles from foot to foot. He must admit, he’s stunned by the octopus’s honesty. Not only is it something he’s not used to receiving from teachers in general, but </span><em><span>definitely </span></em><span>not from this one. Goddamn it… </span><em><span>Goddamn it.</span></em> <span>Here he is surprising him again.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>...He shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>learned,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Korosensei says. “Not just what teaching meant… why it was such a beautiful career, but who you all </span>
  <em>
    <span>were. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I learned what Aguri saw in you... and I learned why you deserved all this love in the first place, only to come to </span>
  <em>
    <span>agree.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s take you for example,” he says, unfurling a tentacle out and pointing it towards Karma. “When I first met you you had to be one of the most </span>
  <em>
    <span>frustrating </span>
  </em>
  <span>of my pupils. While the rest of your classmates were </span>
  <em>
    <span>distrustful </span>
  </em>
  <span>of me… annoyed, even: </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>were outright </span>
  <em>
    <span>mean. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You took delight in tormenting me. You looked forward to ruining my day. And with </span>
  <em>
    <span>glee, </span>
  </em>
  <span>almost, you’d simply throw my insecurities right back in my face… sending me </span>
  <em>
    <span>spiraling.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>much </span>
  </em>
  <span>more irked by your shenanigans, Karma, than I may have come across back then. At the time it drove me </span>
  <em>
    <span>mad. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You made me feel like a subpar teacher… you made me feel like I was doing something wrong. And I couldn’t have handled that in the way I usually would have. Back when I was an assassin I’d have just </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed </span>
  </em>
  <span>someone like you. But I couldn’t do that </span>
  <em>
    <span>then! </span>
  </em>
  <span>I wasn’t supposed to hurt you. I was supposed to </span>
  <b>
    <em>love </em>
  </b>
  <span>you, and here I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>mad?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It made me feel like a failure. And that, in turn, only made me grow more frustrated with you. But eventually, I saw something in you I hadn’t seen before and everything changed. When you jumped off the cliff that afternoon I realized it wasn’t just Aguri that was depending on me. It was you, too, even if you expressed it in a way I never could have expected.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I learned that you were troubled... I learned about your past. And as I did I grew to </span>
  <em>
    <span>empathize </span>
  </em>
  <span>with you, like I grew to empathize with </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>of your classmates. Then… to my surprise, you started to grow </span>
  <em>
    <span>past </span>
  </em>
  <span>those things and I stumbled upon another thing I never would have expected. I was </span>
  <b>
    <em>proud.”</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All of a sudden I wanted to see you grow </span>
  <em>
    <span>further. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I wanted to help you in any way I could. And I… I came </span>
  <em>
    <span>to </span>
  </em>
  <span>teaching in my own way. Even if I stumbled at first, I learned what you needed… and I grew, too. Now I love you with </span>
  <em>
    <span>no strings attached. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I </span>
  <em>
    <span>see </span>
  </em>
  <span>what Aguri saw. And I </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>spending time with you... I </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>spending time with all of your class. It’s not what I would have expected back then… I thought I’d be putting on an act for the whole year, but…-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean… do I </span>
  <em>
    <span>look </span>
  </em>
  <span>like someone who still wants to hurt you, now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s holding out a defeated hand. Karma stares at it… then looks up towards his face. Korosensei is smiling gently, but then again… isn’t he </span>
  <em>
    <span>always? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He </span>
  <b>
    <em>always </em>
  </b>
  <span>looks like this. He did, even back then.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t believe Korosensei wanted to kill him. Like, in hindsight, it makes a lot of sense… he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>a little shit, and the guy </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>a serial killer, but… damn. He hadn’t even felt in danger at the time. He’d thought Korosensei was harmless… held back by arbitrary rules. But if he’d stopped caring about that promise to his dead friend or the imaginary red tape all around him Karma could have been in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot </span>
  </em>
  <span>of trouble. The whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>world </span>
  </em>
  <span>could have been.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All the same… he’s not sure he can see Korosensei as someone who’s willing to hurt him </span>
  <em>
    <span>now. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Not when he’d been so open about all of that. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants </span>
  </em>
  <span>to believe that’s ingenuity… he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants </span>
  </em>
  <span>to believe that story’s true, but...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean… I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to say no,” he admits. “But how can I tell anything’s really different about you than back then? Are your words all I have to go on?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>force </span>
  </em>
  <span>you to think anything, Karma,” Korosensei says. “If you really don’t want to believe me then I can’t make you. But I like to think those words </span>
  <em>
    <span>can </span>
  </em>
  <span>mean something. Because yes… I’ll tell you truthfully I wanted to hurt you, just like I’ll tell you truthfully I resented your classmates. But I’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>also </span>
  </em>
  <span>tell you I’m telling you this because I don’t want to hurt you further… because I know how insightful you are, and how you’ll take it personally if I don’t tell you the truth.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He steps forward... starts wandering down the mountain, and motions for Karma to follow. As they reach the cliffside that Karma jumped from all those months ago he lets out a quiet sigh and stares… absentmindedly, up at the moon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re right, Karma: I didn’t change over the course of a week. I didn’t change over the course of two, three, or even a month. I changed over the course of this entire year. And even if my tenderness was a persona initially… I know for </span>
  <em>
    <span>certain </span>
  </em>
  <span>now that I love you kids. You don’t have to believe that I’ve changed… not really. But if there’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>one </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing I want you to believe more than anything, it’s that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t been the perfect teacher. I’ve already messed this up in so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>many ways. But I treasure the time I spend with you all. And you are so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>much more than a concept or a vessel for redemption for me. I love each of you individually more than I can even say… and you have done </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>as much to shape me as your previous teacher had. I’ve learned so much from you all… and I will be thankful for that with </span>
  <em>
    <span>every day I have left.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I can convince you of nothing else… please believe me on that, Karma. I know why you accused me. I know you have trouble trusting… and I know you’ve been burned by adults before. But I am here to support you... I am here to love you… and I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>going anywhere. No matter how ‘shallow’ my initial reasons were… I see you for who you are... and I am so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>proud of you. Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>do yourself the disservice of ever thinking anything less.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I came here to fulfil a duty… that much is true. But I do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>love your class because Aguri told me to. No…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shakes his head softly and turns to look back Karma’s way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Aguri simply sent me here because she knew I’d love you all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice is steady as he speaks. There’s a sense of sadness, yes, but it doesn’t dare waver. As he stares at Karma in the soft moonlight there’s a certain gentleness to his demeanor. And even with an expression indecipherable, Karma, somehow, inexplicably… instinctually, knows what he means. Karma, somehow… despite all the odds, believes him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>...Goddamn it, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he believes him. That’s the same octopus who rescued him that day on the mountain, alright. He may be a liar… and a fraud… and a </span>
  <em>
    <span>murderer, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but he means that much. He meant it back then when he said “I’ll be here to protect you...” and he means it now, saying “I still will.” He loves his students. And he loves…-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma almost wants to cry. He doesn’t dare, but he wants to. Biting his lip so hard it may as well bleed for an entirely different reason this time… he makes his way towards Korosensei and apologizes for making an ass of himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A… ah,” he says. “I see.” And then, voice quieter. “I’m sorry for assuming. I know I went for some sore spots, but…-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be,” Korosensei reassures, reaching out to place a tentacle on his shoulder. “...I know your worries came from a valid place. Besides, I wasn’t hurt… at least not for long.” He pauses. “If anything, I just feel bad that my story managed to make </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>feel so bad. That’s the last thing I would have wanted.” He shakes his head. “Quite truthfully, I never even wanted to share that story at all… but Kayano forced me to show my hand.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Eh,” Karma says, giving a lazy shrug. “Honestly… I’m thankful. If you’re right about one thing it’s that I’m insightful. I’d always have been a little bothered about why you were here if you didn’t share.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmm,” Korosensei admits. “I suppose so. But all the same…” He’s quiet for a long moment, squeezing Karma’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t always have to overthink these things. Perhaps someone’s just there because they care about you. It’s alright to accept people as they come.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In a perfect world, maybe,” Karma agrees. “But it can also be dangerous to behave like that. You could wind up letting someone into your life who wants to hurt or use you.” He snorts. “People like you are the exception moreso than the rule.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei looks like he wants to argue… but even </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>doesn’t have wisdom to combat that. He simply sighs, shakes his head, and shifts the topic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think the rest of the class will be bothered by what I shared? I’d hate for them to think I don’t care about them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma gives another shrug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know most of ‘em personally… so I’m not certain, but… they don’t particularly strike me as the accusatory bunch. I’m sure if you just talk to them about it it’ll be fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In what </span>
  <em>
    <span>way </span>
  </em>
  <span>though?” Korosensei asks. “I’d hate to just make things worse.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Say the same thing you said to me,” Karma replies. “Minus the whole ‘kinda wanted to kill you at first’ bit, of course. Something tells me my classmates like Okuda couldn’t exactly stomach </span>
  <em>
    <span>that.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei ‘eeps’ and covers his face. Shaking his head, ashamed, almost, he says “I never wanted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill </span>
  </em>
  <span>her. I suppose I just didn’t see what Aguri had seen ye- </span>
  <em>
    <span>oooooh… what’s the use in saying it? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Either way… I was such a wretched person.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You and me both, bud,” Karma replies, blatantly ignoring the fact that actively wanting to murder a bunch of kids you were put in charge of watching and, like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>kinda</span>
  </em>
  <span> being mean to your teacher are wildly different things. “What matters now though is that you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He pauses. “What matters now is… you do… uh- care about us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You really think that?” Korosensei asks. “That I’m not now, I mean. Not that I care about you-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>both,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Karma says with a shrug. “You know I wouldn’t lie about that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei nods. “Very true. Either way, though… thank you.” He pauses. “I know it’s not your job to console me, but… it does mean a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmmm,” Karma says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that, he falls silent. Still, he doesn’t turn to leave. Somehow it feels like there’s still an elephant in the room even with his accusations out of the way. He plops down on the ground and lets his legs dangle off the cliff.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei places himself down next to him. He watches Karma carefully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is there anything else you’d like to talk about?” He asks. “I know these last few days have been very eventful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not particularly,” Karma says. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure?” Korosensei asks. “You seemed sort of frightened by what happened with Kayano.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh man,” Karma says. “You picked up on that?” He’s not sure whether to be embarrassed or annoyed. “...Nah. It’s not a big deal. I guess I just…” He pauses; shakes his head. “I don’t know. It’s stupid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure it’s not,” Korosensei reassures. “It’s only natural to be worried about your classmate.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I think it’s less that and more…” Karma sends a long glance down towards the cliff, then up towards the night sky. “...I don’t know. I just guess I hate it when I don’t know I should be afraid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Afraid?” Korosensei repeats. “Of what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” Karma drifts off, Nagisa’s face surfacing in his mind. He feels a jolt run down his spine… then shakes his head and frowns. “Like I said: I don’t know. Ignore me. Don’t worry about it, though, alright? I’m not gonna let this… like… color my interactions with Kayano or anything.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei hesitates… but eventually nods. He must be able to tell that Karma’s shown enough vulnerability for one night, too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Besides… Karma’s quick to change the topic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And it’s not like her act is the only thing I found weird,” he continues. “The whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>story </span>
  </em>
  <span>was insane. Dead sisters? Human experiments? That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>crazy, </span>
  </em>
  <span>man.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Indeed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei’s eyes are fixed on the moon again. He’s still got that smile on his face, but somehow now it strikes Karma as more of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>symptom </span>
  </em>
  <span>than a mask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s that like?” he asks. “Not being experimented on, I mean… but… existing like that.” He pauses. “Itona said when he had his tentacles his brain got all screwed up. Do you think that has something to do with it, too? You… changing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei blinks slowly. But he doesn’t reply… not yet. It seems he needs time to think that one over, too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want,” Karma continues. “It’s not really important. But I guess it just… frightens me. I can’t imagine not being able to tell if my feelings are really mine or not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Korosensei says. “It’s a good question. I think the tentacles certainly… expedited the process. But...” he falls silent. “I also think it doesn’t particularly matter. Of course, they influence my feelings… my actions. They’re just as much a part of me as anything else at this point.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And while that may seem frightening from an outsider’s view the truth is we’re all made up of things like that… the experiences we’ve been through, the chemicals in our brain. All that matters is how we feel… not the source of those things.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know how Reaper would have felt about all of this. Maybe without the tentacles, he never would have been able to love you all in the way I do. But… I do know how I feel, at least, and I’m content. I’m quite happy being Korosensei.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reaches out to place a tentacle on Karma’s shoulder. “Again: you need to stop worrying about these things. ‘I care about you’ doesn’t always come with strings attached. And it’s not like the only way someone could ever possibly believe in you is by not being ‘all there.’ Your classmates love you. There are plenty of, </span>
  <em>
    <span>plenty of </span>
  </em>
  <span>people cheering you on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma’s shoulders lower.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he says. “I just…-” He drifts off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s some baggage attached, mm?” Korosensei asks. “That’s okay. I think we all feel that way sometimes.” He shuts his eyes and hums. “But it’s not too good to be true… this support system you’ve found.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not until the end of the year, at least,” Karma retorts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He says it absentmindedly, but Korosensei looks shocked. Karma supposes he’s just… frustrated. Now that all of this is resolved he can’t stop thinking about how Korosensei will be dead within the next few months no matter </span>
  <em>
    <span>what </span>
  </em>
  <span>happens. That sucks, man. And what sucks even more is-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...That support system will remain even long after I’m gone,” Korosensei interjects.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Unless you blow up the earth,” Karma points out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That won’t happen,” Korosensei reassures. “I fully believe your class will be able to take me out. You’re getting stronger every day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma shoots Korosensei a skeptical look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That said, however… I don’t intend to go down easily, of course.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And Karma’s skepticism only grows.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Because Korosensei gives a cheeky giggle… his face goes yellow and green as he laughs, but there’s still something missing behind his eyes. And even as he puts on an act… reassures Karma in any way he can, Karma can’t help but think that…-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you happy about this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, that what he </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>see in Korosensei is what sucks most of all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei pauses… stares at Karma for a long moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That you’ll all take me out?” He asks, quietly. “Of course I’m-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Karma interjects. “Not that. Cut the crap.” He frowns deeply. “...That we have to take you out at all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Ah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And suddenly Korosensei’s not looking at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma’s lip twitches. The more he thinks about it the more Korosensei’s backstory unsettles him. Not only did he lose the, like, one person he was ever close to, but he grew up in a place that’s as close as you can get to </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He’s suffered more than Karma could ever imagine. And despite that… he… he-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s smiling, even now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>People are supposed to be afraid to die. That’s simple human instinct. But Korosensei’s not… and he hasn’t been all year. At least… Karma’s pretty sure. And if that’s true… then…-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei… he has to feel the way Karma did at the start of all this… leaning backwards over the cliff and letting the wind catch in his hair. Korosensei had caught him then, but…-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>(He could never do the same.)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve been coaching us all year,” he continues, prepping his shoulder up on his knee and his cheek in his palm. “And the whole time with that same damn smile. Are you afraid of what’s going to happen when we finally ‘get you?’ Or…-” He pauses. “Or are you looking forward to it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei’s quiet for a long moment. Then… quietly removing his tentacle from Karma’s shoulder, he turns to look directly at him… and firmly shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not something you should be worrying about, Karma. You have much more important things to be focusing on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not a yes or a no answer, Korosensei. What is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you could somehow change your fate, </span>
  <em>
    <span>would you?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei lowers his head… shuts his eyes and thinks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not going to lie to you. That’s the last thing I’d want to do.” He pauses. “But all the same… I think if I could have it my way… all I’d want to do is be here for you as long as you need me. If I could do that, well… then I think I’d be satisfied. That’s all I could ask to do with my life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s not a yes or a no, either… and that frustrates Karma. But he supposes not all things have a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer, anyways. And besides…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Korosensei’s words speak for themselves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” he says. “That’s all I needed to hear.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of them sit there in silence for a long moment. But eventually… Korosensei stands. Hands in his pockets and looking like he feels bad, he says, “It’s about time you get heading home. It was nice to have this talk with you… but…” He pauses. “...You need to be up bright and early for class tomorrow. I wouldn’t want you on anything less than your best behavior.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You say that like I’m not just going to skip,” Karma retorts… but all the same, he stands. And as he turns to face away from the cliff he feels things return to usual. That moment of vulnerability fades and suddenly he and Korosensei are right back to where they were before: hiding their hurt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe not particularly well; Korosensei reaches out to hug Karma one more time before he goes. He squeezes him tight… almost like trying to say ‘I promise everything will be okay...’ But it won’t be. Because Karma so desperately wishes he could say the same to Korosensei- and he’s just not sure how.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All he can do is hug him back as tight as he can, and hope his teacher will pick up on some of the appreciation he so overwhelmingly feels.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then… he’s gone. Karma walks home alone and leaves Korosensei to finish tidying up the classroom himself. He’d offer to help more, but something tells him Korosensei wouldn’t particularly want that. And he’s right, anyways… he needs the rest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he shuts his eyes and cranes his neck up towards the crescent moon Karma can see his teacher falling. The truth is he could probably catch himself if he wanted to. He’s all-powerful… he could do most anything. But his teacher doesn’t move. He simply lets himself plummet, and crashes… silently, into the ground below.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...Somehow, he looks peaceful down there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karma wishes he had the power to save him. But something tells him that deep down that it would take a lot more than saving Korosensei physically to ever prevent a fate like that. Try as you might, someone like that will jump time and time again. And there’s a point where it’s maybe best - most merciful, to just let someone die with dignity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s not certain. He probably never will be. But if there’s one thing he knows it’s that he vows to look out for Korosensei, too… even if that doesn’t necessarily mean rescuing him from this fate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No, not at all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...Even if it means loving him enough to finally let him embrace it. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WOOOH! Glad to finally have something up. It's been about two months since AIS ended now and I'm happy to finally publish another fanfic. It's just a small thing this time, but I still had a ton of fun writing it.</p>
<p>Something that always made me curious about Korosensei's intent was his backstory. I was surprised that none of the students were more troubled by it. Not only is he just, like, a literal, actual murderer, but he came there on someone else's orders. Did that ever make them doubt his love?</p>
<p>I wanted to explore than and decided Karma was the best vessel with which to do so. The guy is trust-issues central, especially when it comes to teachers... and I loved the idea of him confronting Korosensei on the possible insincerity.</p>
<p>Not only that, but I wanted to get a little into why I think Karma feels so strongly for team red in canon. While part of it is 100% just a desire to whoop Nagisa's ass, another part of it is him (at least I genuinely feel) understanding that Korosensei doesn't want to be rescued and accepting that. He HAS a strong sense of justice, and he thinks it's the right thing to do.</p>
<p>There's not much more I can say about this fic... It mostly speaks for itself, but I hope you enjoyed it and my thoughts on the two characters! Hopefully I'll have the first chapter of my next longfic published soon, but I figured in the meantime this'd tide you guys over. As always, I hope you enjoyed, and make sure to let me know what you thought!</p>
<p>Sack out o/</p>
<p>(Some songs that helped me write this fic were To Break In A Glove from Dear Evan Hansen, And Then There Was None from Spring Awakening, My R covered by Rachie, and Temple Grandin Too by AJJ... the latter of which this fic is named after.</p>
<p>"There’s something big and powerful and wise<br/>And it’s begging us to end its tragic life<br/>So let’s be Temple Grandin for the night<br/>A hug without a human is alright</p>
<p>We’ll find a friendly way to make it die<br/>A hug without a human is alright<br/>We’ll find a friendly way to make it die")</p></blockquote></div></div>
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